Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Overcoming Inferiority Complex



Every one of us is highly important, each of us have something of great value to offer the world and every body is uniquely different and skilled in different ways. You've probably read such statements before, but while you might agree with them on a logical and conscious level, sometimes it's very hard to feel that way and to believe that you genuinely have the same amount to offer as everyone else. If that describes you then you may just have an inferiority complex which is a serious and unfortunate affliction that can affect every single aspect of your life.You will be surprised at how many people easily feel intimidated by other people's looks, social status and influence, some girls hate those who dress better or look better than them and even automatically picture them as bitches or whores and yes guys are affected too. I have personally gone through such a phase in my teen years  where i saw myself as being not up to standards with other guys and i tend to shy away from social gatherings  but on the long run i figured i was never going to fit in therefore i decided to stand out and stand out i did !  So in order words this is a situation most of us have passed through or are currently in ....

Here we will look at what an inferiority complex is, why it is such a serious problem, and how to address it and overcome it.

What Is an Inferiority Complex?

According to WIKKIPEDIA, Inferiority complex in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Such feelings can arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme antisocial behavior, or both. Unlike a normal feeling of inferiority, which can act as an incentive for achievement, an inferiority complex is an advanced state of discouragement, often resulting in a retreat from difficulties

An inferiority complex as the name suggests is a complex in which an individual has overwhelming feelings of inferiority. While we all have weak points and areas of ourselves which could be improved, the person with an inferiority complex will fixate on these weaknesses and use them in order to evaluate their overall worth. As a result of their real or perceived flaws, they then see themselves as generally less important, successful or accomplished as others and of course this can have many negative impacts on their lives.

In some cases inferiority complex can lead to overcompensation and this is the best scenario. Here the individual does everything in their power to overcome their perceived inferiority and this can mean that they end up in highly successful jobs, amassing great wealth and succeeding in powerful relationships. However while such a person might be a high achiever, a sense of inferiority will mean that they will always be less happy than they could be and it may have other negative impacts on their life.

Another possible outcome of an inferiority complex meanwhile is that the individual ends up backing down from difficult situations and acting without any sense of worth or entitlement. Such people will have the opposite results as the overcompensating type due to what is known as a 'self fulfilling prophecy'. Here the person's low self belief changes the way they behave, and that in turn changes the way they are perceived and treated by others which in turn results in them actually becoming inferior in some ways.

Causes

There are many possible causes of inferiority, but they tend to be the result of significant events (often in childhood), or of conditioned beliefs that come from continuous failure or criticism. Often parental attitudes can result in an inferiority complex if the child did not receive the right encouragement or unconditional love when they were growing up. In some cases an inferiority complex could also arise as a result of some kind of defect either physical or mental. For instance a low IQ, poor physical fitness or appearance, physical disablement, speech defects etc. Any such condition could present the child with a source of continuous disappointment and criticism, and might prevent them from participating in the same activities as others.

Often the negative self view in an inferiority complex will result in the problem becoming self perpetuating and this causes the person to enter a vicious cycle wherein their low self esteem causes them to avoid situations where they could otherwise have improved their confidence, or results in them making mistakes or harshly judging their own performances.

How to Overcome an Inferiority Complex

If that's all sounding about right then you may well be suffering from an inferiority complex and it's time that you did something about it. The question is, how do you break out of such a vicious cycle and begin to develop more self confidence, perhaps for the first time in your life? Here we will look at some techniques and suggestions for how you can start to break the cycle and start to develop more confidence.

Self Talk

A lot of pessimism and low self esteem comes from negative self talk. Here you are constantly putting yourself down or criticizing yourself in your own mind with your internal monologue – perhaps thinking things like 'I don't deserve this' or 'they will think I'm stupid'. This is the cause of many psychological conditions and it is something that is addressed in a school of psychology known as 'cognitive behavioral psychology'. Here therapists teach how to go about first identifying, and then eliminating and replacing negative thoughts that cause you to be unhappy. You can do this through the use of mindfulness. This is a form of meditation where the aim is not to completely clear your mind, but rather to simply reflect on its contents while watching your thoughts go by 'like clouds'. You can this way notice when you are thinking the negative thoughts that could lead to low self esteem and start to stop yourself from getting into those patterns. Another strategy used to try and replace negative thoughts is to use positive affirmations and to constantly repeat more positive thoughts such as 'I am equal to everyone else' or 'it doesn't matter what other people think'. The idea is to do this until the point where these new thoughts become habitual so that you are constantly thinking positive things.

Rationalization

However the most effective way to stop the negative self talk is to simply stop believing it, and if you think very logically about most negative thoughts you will find that they aren't really based on anything at all. For instance if you are thinking that you are less worthwhile because you aren't very good looking then you are probably missing several points:

• Looks are superficial and have nothing to do with skill or talent or personality

• You probably have many other more worthwhile talents

• Looks are subjective and chances are that some people would disagree with your opinions

• Good dress sense, hair and physical fitness can all go some way to combating your appearance

Likewise if you are not confident in your own personality, your beliefs, your habits, your hobbies etc then remember that all this is arbitrary too. There is really no 'right way' and no 'wrong way' to go about things and no one can tell you that you are less worthwhile as a result. It all very much depends on who you are and what you value and it doesn't matter what other people value. Remember too that most people also lack confidence to an extent. So when you think that they might be judging you then just bear in mind that chances are that they are equally worried that you might be judging them.

If in the past you have had events or experiences that have lead to your inferiority complex meanwhile, then now is the time to look at those and to think about why they might have occurred. For instance if your parents were dismissive then that is likely because they were bad parents and was no fault of your own. Likewise if you were teased at school this can have any number of reasons and might even have been a product of jealousy.

Note: These are some rudimentary forms of 'cognitive restructuring' – changing the way that you view the world for the benefit of your mental health and happiness. If you are truly struggling with inferiority feelings and you want to tackle them head on, then you are best off getting professional advice from a cognitive behavioral therapist who is trained in this kind of therapy.

Focus on Weaknesses

To this end, while it is not a very nice trait or habit, you can often make yourself feel better by choosing to focus on the weaknesses on others which will at least have the result of putting your own weak points into perspective. When you talk to someone then, think about when they stutter, or whether they have a good vocabulary, or whether they perhaps have any physical weaknesses. All these things are unkind to think, but if you do focus on them then you will be able to note how unlikely they are to be judging you as a result.

Practice Failing

Someone trying to overcome feelings and thoughts of inferiority might think about all of the ways in which they are not inferior and the ways in which others are unlikely to be judging them. However this is to miss the real point – that it just doesn't matter. As long as you are putting in effort into the areas you think are important that's all that matters. Practice going into a shop and acting strangely to the assistant there – you'll notice they don't react at all and there are no repercussions. Likewise practice acting firm and trying to get your way, and practice making noise etc etc. All these things will show you how little people care and how little your behavior matters.

Surround Yourself With Positive People

The problem with an inferiority complex is that it often attracts the wrong kind of relationships and these might be the kinds of relationships who will try to take advantage of your nature or who will act as a leach on your self confidence. Often other unconfident people will associate with you and will try to put you down in order to make themselves feel better. You need to make sure that this doesn't happen and recognize when it is happening. If you do have people in your life who are critical or bitchy then you don't need them in your life right now – one of the best things you can do is to cut them out of your life for now until you have gained more confidence – and explain to them why so that they can change.

One of the very best ways to improve your self esteem is to find a loving partner. This is a great way to make you more confident as they will love you for who you are and they will be there to support you and to boost your confidence. You just need to take that step in order to find love in the first place – which can be hard if you lack confidence in the first place.

Read Self Help Books

Self help books have a bad reputation and many people think that they are wet and filled with obvious advice. However while this is sometimes the case, in other situations they are very useful and based on sound psychology. If you find the right books and follow the advice carefully then it is possible to transform the way you view yourself and the way you present yourself.

Improve Yourself

If you are upset with your lack of confidence, or with your physique, or with your intelligence then don't worry – these are all things that you can improve with practice and there are many other ways to boost your confidence too. The answer is not to wish that you were different but to take action and to turn yourself, and your life, into what you want it to be. The great news too is that it's never too late to start and there are plenty of great role models you can look up to who have achieved a lot at almost every age. Find role models, set goals, and work to make yourself into what you want to be.

Take Up a Hobby

The problem with an inferiority complex is that you look at one flaw in your personality or one area in which you are not as talented as you could be and then you generalize that or inflate its importance so that you completely lose your confidence. The solution then is to find one thing that you are good at and then to get your self esteem and your confidence from that. For instance then you might choose to take up a sport or woodwork, and then you can practice getting better at that and gain more confidence from that area.

 Femi Shine with a lot of credits  to  Stanley C Loewen

Friday, 25 January 2013

Interesting Facts You Need To Know

Interesting Facts You Need To Know



The human body is an incredibly complex and intricate system, one that still baffles doctors and researchers on a regular basis despite thousands of years of medical knowledge. As a result, it shouldn’t be any surprise that even body parts and functions we deal with every day have bizarre or unexpected facts and explanations behind them. From sneezes to fingernail growth, here are 100 weird, wacky, and interesting facts about the human body.

-Nerve impulses to and from the brain travel as fast as 170 miles per hour

-The brain operates on the same amount of power as 10-watt light bulb

-The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica

-Your brain uses 20% of the oxygen that enters your bloodstream

-The brain is much more active at night than during the day

-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. the more you dream

-Facial hair grows faster than any other hair on the body

-Women’s hair is about half the diameter of men’s hair

-The lifespan of a human hair is 3 to 7 years on average

-The largest internal organ is the small intestine

-The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet

-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razorblades

-The human body is estimated to have 60,000 miles of blood vessels.(To put that in perspective,
the distance around the earth is about 25,000 miles, making the distance your blood vessels
could travel if laid end to end more than two times around the earth.)

-You get a new stomach lining every three to four days

-The surface area of a human lung is equal to a tennis court

-Women’s hearts beat faster than men’s

-Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart

-A Sneeze regularly exceed 100 mph (This is, of course, a good reason to cover your mouth when you sneeze)

-Coughs clock in at about 60 mph

-Women blink twice as many times as men do

-During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools

-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born

-Babies are always born with blue eyes

-A fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months

-The average person expels flatulence 14 times each day

-On any given day, intimate intercourse takes place 120 million times on earth

-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male Fluid

-The three things pregnant women dream most of during their first trimester are frogs, worms and potted plants

-Most men have erections every hour to hour and a half during sleep

-Women are born better smellers than men and remain better smellers over life

-Your nose can remember 50,000 different scents

-Everyone has a unique smell, except for identical twins

-By 60 years of age, 60-percent of men and 40-percent of women will snore

-Monday is the day of the week when the risk of heart attack is greatest

-A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it is been decapitated

-It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown (every one should have known this right?)

-Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood the number is reduced to 206

-You use 200 muscles to take one step

-The tooth is the only part of the human body that can’t repair itself

-About 32 million bacteria call every inch of your skin home

-Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour

-Every tongue print is unique

-Your body has enough iron in it to make a nail 3 inches long

-Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't

-It is not possible to tickle yourself

-Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do

-Women blink twice as many times as men do.

-Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

-We are about 1 cm taller in the morning than in the evening. Layers of cartilage in the joints gets compressed during the day.

-There are approximately 550 hairs in the eyebrow.

-The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue.

-The life span of a taste bud is 10 days.

-The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

-Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

-Babies are born without kneecaps. They appear when the child is 2-6 years of age.

-If you ate too many carrots you would turn orange.

-The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime.

-A baby is born every seven seconds.

-You breathe about 10 million times a year.

-The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you'll have a bad dream.

-The foot is the most common body part bitten by insects.

-The most common time for a wake-up call is 7 AM.

-The typical person goes to the bathroom 6 times a day.

-The fastest growing nail is on the middle finger.

-The most sensitive finger on the human hand is the index finger.

-After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp.

-A person swallows approximately 295 times while eating dinner.

-A man's beard contains between 7,000 and 15,000 hairs.

-The hardest bone in the human body is the jawbone.

-The indentation in the middle of the area between the nose and the upper lip has a name. (It is called the philtrum. Scientists have yet to figure out what purpose this indentation serves, though the ancient Greeks thought it to be one of the most erogenous places on the body)

-Humans are the only animals to produce emotional tears


copyright: Nairaland.com

Monday, 21 January 2013

While businesses struggle, churches and bars boom




It is increasingly becoming obvious that the two fastest growing endeavours in Nigeria today are churches and bars, at least in the Southern part of the country, where the Islamist fundamentalists, Boko Haram, are not bombing churches and bars. If you have been observant, you will notice that the number of churches and bars in your neighborhood has increased tremendously in the last five years.
Companies close shop and churches or bars take over their spaces. Until 2009 when the Central Bank of Nigeria came down hard on banks, they were the ones taking over every available space in Nigeria, so as to be called the biggest bank or the bank with the highest number of branches. These days, once a building or a piece of land is put up for sale or lease, chances are high that it is a church that will acquire it.
On the other hand, once a canopy is erected in front of a house on a central road or street in a neighborhood  you can be sure that a new bar has sprung up where people will gather every evening to drink. Even in early January when many people usually still try to keep a resolution not to drink alcohol, or when many people are still recovering from the high amount of money they spent during the Christmas/New Year period, such roadside bars are still filled with patrons every evening. Interestingly, I have never seen any roadside bar that seems to be experiencing a lack of patronage, including those that operate beside dirty, stinking gutters.
Why are churches and bars booming at a time businesses are hurting and dying? Many reasons are responsible for this. First is that the Redeemed Christian Church of God’s vision of having a church within a walking distance of its worshippers seems to have thrown a challenge to other churches. Every church now also wants to have a branch close to its members.
Second, when all hope seems to be lost, the church provides hope to the faithful. The words of a minister reassure people that all is well no matter how dark the clouds are. Many pastors have also noticed that pastors who focus on prosperity have mammoth crowds; therefore, many of them have jumped on the bandwagon of prosperity preaching. Those whose businesses are struggling or have collapsed, flock to churches in search of their own breakthrough. It is said that when an economy is buoyant or life is rosy, many people think less of God. It is when things are bad that many people remember God and need Him to help them.
There is also the fact that churches help their members find jobs, business, spouses, among others. Many people have such needs and they flock to churches to find solutions to these needs. Friends and contacts are also made in churches which prove useful in life. The more people troop to churches to solve these problems, the more churches expand.
In addition, many pastors lay special emphasis on tithing, and consequently use Malachi 3:10 to instil fear into their congregation. This portion of the Bible says that those who don’t pay their tithes rob God and will consequently receive hard times in all their endeavors  but those who pay their tithes will receive an open window from God, from which He will pour down His blessings upon them. Even the older churches that never preached tithing have joined in preaching tithing as a compulsory Christian doctrine. In addition to tithing, many churches lay great emphasis on giving – seed-sowing, offering, seed of faith, covenant seed, dangerous giving, donation for special projects, etc – through which churches receive huge sums of money in comparison to what obtained in the past. This makes expansion easier.
Also in the past, being a priest was synonymous with poverty. It was seen as a calling, because only someone with a high conviction would choose the poverty, extreme self-denial, a life of service, risk and pain that were associated with priesthood. Priests were expected to live a life similar to that Jesus Christ and His apostles lived: a life of lack and service with no amassing of wealth or flamboyance. But given that many pastors are rich and flamboyant these days, being a pastor has become attractive. Many young people are daily pouring into the seminary or Bible college that it is difficult to know those who had a divine call and those who are just changing businesses. The effect is that churches build more branches to find places for the large number of ministers, while individuals who don’t want to be part of any of the existing churches open their own churches in their neighborhoods, thereby increasing the number of churches.
In the case of bars, it is a fact that when many people record achievements, they celebrate with alcohol; and when they are hit by hard times, they drink more alcohol in an attempt to drown their sorrow, even if temporarily. Many people simply bury their problems in alcohol: a kind of escapism. As people’s debt mounts, as they are unsure of how to pay the next rent or children’s school fees, many resort to alcohol.
Money problem is also a huge source of marital crisis. Rather than drive home to face the anger of their wives for several hours, many people prefer to hang out with their friends in bars and return home only when it is bedtime, cutting down on the period they will spend with their wives before sunrise when another working day beckons on them to escape from home again.
The more people seek to drink, the more owners of bars smile to the bank, and the more new bars open to attend to the need of more drinkers.
Ironically, in spite of the massive expansion in churches as well as a rise in religious activities in Nigeria, there is a drop in values, morality and godliness. The Nigerian of today is less trusted internationally than the Nigerian of pre-1990. The Nigerian of today has a higher chance of demanding a bribe or giving a bribe or cheating another than the Nigerian of pre-1990. It therefore points to the fact that the expansion in churches and rise in religiosity have little to do with spreading the gospel of God and more to do with pecuniary consideration. But that is not to say that there are not many men of God whose desire in church expansion is driven purely by a need to win souls who will be godly and therefore great citizens.
The bitter truth is that countries don’t become great as a result of an astronomical rise in churches and bars. That companies are folding up and churches and bars are growing should sound a warning to the government that all is not well with the Nigerian economy. The economy needs to be revived so that those who want to worship God will worship Him in truth and spirit, not because of those material things that they believe they will get from Him, but because they are convinced that He is worthy to be worshiped  In the same vein, those who want to drink alcohol will drink it as a choice, not as an escapist mechanism from hard times.

Written by AZUKA ONWUKA FOR HTTP://TRIBUNE.COM.NG

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

The Evil Behind Female Circumcisions Otherwise Known As Female Genital Mutilation(A MUST READ!)


Have you ever wondered why no matter the amount of foreplay you engage your partner in , she never gets aroused or she experiences excruciating pain whenever you have intercourse? Even when she cant give you a reasonable explanation for it ,sex is a major issue in marriage and it is and will always be a major ingredient that determines if a marriage will survive or not, well if youre in such situation this article is an eye opener for you and as well for the ladies who might (majorly most Nigerian women)have gone through this process when they were young without even knowing or having little memory of it.

Female circumcision also known as Female genital mutilation refers to all procedures which partially or completely remove the external female genitalia. FGM also includes any other injury to a woman's or girl's genitalia for reasons other than medical ones.

The World Health Organization informs that there are four main types of female genital mutilations:

FGM may involve cutting out all or part of the clitoris, the labia majora and/or minora, and stitching the labia together so as to narrow the opening


Clitoridectomy - the clitoris is partially or completely removed. The clitoris (see picture) is the most sensitive erogenous zone of the human female, and the main cause of her sexual pleasure. It is a small erectile part of the female genitalia. Upon being stimulated, the clitoris produces sexual excitement, clitoral erection, and orgasm.

Excision - the clitoris and labia minora are partially or completely removed. It may also include the removal of the labia majora. "Labia" refers to the lips that surround the vagina. (see picture)

Infibulation - the vaginal opening is narrowed; a covering seal is created. The inner or outer labia are cut and re-positioned. This procedure may include (or not) the removal of the clitoris.

Other - procedures not listed above which damage the female genitalia and are not carried out for medical purposes. This may include cauterizing, scraping, incising, pricking or piercing the genital area (genital piercing is usually safe if performed by a licensed, professional body piercer


Female genital mutilation offers the female no health benefits

Not only does FGM offer no health benefits for the female, it is associated with serious risks of harm. Healthy and normal (natural) female genital tissue is removed. In fact, these procedures undermine a girl's and woman's natural functions.

The following complications may occur during or soon after FGM procedures:
Excruciating pain, which can sometimes result in loss of consciousness
Bleeding (hemorrhage)
Bacterial infection (sepsis)
Open sores in the genital area
Urine retention and other problems urinating
Nearby genital tissue is damaged
The following long-term complications are also common:
Bladder infections which keep coming back
Cysts
Infertility
A considerably higher risk of newborn deaths
A significantly higher rate of childbirth complications
Further surgeries - if the opening has been narrowed, later on it will need to be "opened-up" again so that the female can have sex and give birth. In some cultures, this opening and narrowing is done several times throughout a female's life.
How common is female genital mutilation?

According to WHO, over 140 million females have undergone some form of female genital mutilation and currently live with its consequences. In Africa alone, it is believed that approximately 92 million girls aged 10+ years have undergone FGM procedures.

In the majority of cases, FGMs are done on girls aged between infancy and 15 years - FGMs are also done on adult women.

Approximately 3 million girls in Africa are deemed "at risk" for FGM each year.FGM is most commonly performed in the north-eastern, western and eastern regions of Africa, as well as some parts of the Middle East and Asia - usually among African migrants who have moved there.

Many of these ignorant mothers who are making these decisions about their daughters know little or nothing about their own anatomy. They are told that if the clitoris is left alone, it will grow and drag on the ground; that if their daughters are left uncircumcised, they will be wild, and will crave men; that no man from their home country will marry them uncircumcised (although many African men say that they prefer uncircumcised women for sex and marriage); that circumcision aids in menstruation and childbirth (although the opposite is true in both cases); and that it is a religious—usually Islamic—requirement (although none of the major Islamic texts calls directly for FGM). 


Why does female genital mutilation occur?

FGM is due to several factors, and often a combination of them, including those of a religious, social and cultural nature.

Social convention - "it is what others do, and what we have always done.." Social pressure and a desire not to stand out as a rebel is a powerful force, especially in societies with low literacy rates.

Proper thing to do - in some societies, FGM is part of proper female upbringing. It is said to prepare her for marriage and adult life.

Decent sexual behavior - in some cultures, FGM is linked to virginity and being faithful during marriage. If a woman's libido is reduced (by cutting the clitoris), it is believed that her chances of taking part in "illicit" sex is much smaller. Narrowing the vaginal opening is thought to keep females from taking any sexual risks, for fear of pain or widening the opening, being found out and getting into trouble for it.

Femininity and modesty - some societies believe that FGM makes girls cleaner and more beautiful. Some body parts, such as the clitoris (which sticks out) are seen as male or unclean.

Religions - even though not written in any of the major religions, practitioners are either convinced, or have convinced their communities that the practice is a religious one and should be carried out for that reason. It must be pointed out that many religious leaders are against FGM, and are involved in the movement to eradicate its practice.

Power and authority - in some cases, local chiefs, religious leaders, practitioners of FGM and circumcision, and even some health care professionals all agree that it is a practice that must prevail.

A new practice - in some cases, some communities have adopted the practice of FGM because they picked it up from neighboring communities. In some cases, it is the revival of an old custom.

Immigrants - sometimes, people who come from communities that don't practice FGM, and come to live in societies that do, adopt the practice to fit in.

Amnesty International informs that in some cultures, it is believed that a man would die if his penis touched a woman's clitoris. Some say that if a baby's head comes into contact with the clitoris, he/she could die. In some communities, women who have not undergone FGM are not allowed to handle food and water because of the perceived health risks for others.

So readers do we follow this norm or dissect it and choose what is best for our female children or we do agree to this norm and put our beautiful offspring's through excruciating pain that has so many negative long term effects? The decision lies with you !



Written by Femi Shine with input from 
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/241726.php
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/2313097.html

Sunday, 13 January 2013

Virginity Is Overrated ??


Virginity, that word is like windows xp these days, its outdated I mean who even thinks about it? I come from a society where virginity is viewed as the jackpot of marriage . Well I've heard stories of parents of the both sides of the couples waiting outside of the hut of newly weds in the villages to confirm if the white sheet spread under the new couple has been stained by blood during the breaking of the hymen , awaiting the groom to step outside with a smile of triumph for penetrating bride which is followed by giving a goat to the father of the bride as appreciation for making sure his daughter's vagina hasn't been traumatized by the raging snakes between the legs of our young men! Alas ! Gone where those days, do we even have virgins anymore? I think they are as rare as mercury in Nigeria and the churches are not spared too, those fine young sisters will lecture you on a thing on two about sex which makes you wonder if you're old fashioned or something.

Virginity is even seen as a stigma and those who are virgins can't wait to get rid of the hymen already!  Truth be told you can hardly find a girl of ages 14-24 who is a virgin in Nigeria and if you're 25 and still a virgin its either you're dulling yourself or you're obsessed with the idea of wedding night fairy tale we've been feed since we were kids.

To me there are a lot of downside to hanging on to virginity till marriage and I'll share a few.

Sex is an activity of the mind and whatever results from what goes on in the brain can be transmitted to your sexual organs and that's when you get aroused and stimulated but the problem is sometimes during the first time the female could end up with a bad experience such as pain , tear or no stimulation which thereby leads to her reluctant to have sex due to the experience and yes it does make her frigid too,is that what you want from your new wife? A log of wood on the bed while you pound on with your manly fury?

Sometimes men get disappointed because due to past experience which most men have had with multiple partners before marriage they find their new virgin bride unable to drive them to such peaks of pleasure they've achieved with other women which thereby leads to frustration in bed and then into the arms of another much more experienced woman.

Dude,what is the most important quality you would like to see in the woman who you’ll marry??” I asked a friend of mine.

“She should be a virgin!!” He promptly replied.


“VIRGIN…Why??”I asked curiously.


“Well…..because I don’t want “used stuff” and basically I want to be the “first-one” with my wife!!”He Said.


My lips curled, and I asked him “So you don’t support premarital sex……..and you are aren’t indulging in sexual activity before you exchange vows with that special-someone.”


Taken aback, He retorted “Mad Or Wot……. I’ll do IT at least once before getting hitched!!”


Got the hypocrisy??


My friend isn’t the only guy who expects his future-wife to be a virgin, and strangely so also making it the top criteria but not applying the same code for himself. There are innumerable guys in the world and particularly in our country who think the same way. I wondered why is being a virgin/non-virgin such a big issue. To many, virginity is the step in adulthood. According to most of the religions, virginity is the “prize” of a marriage. This factor contributes a hell lot in influencing people while forming a mindset. Most women think that being a virgin until marriage is the best way to give yourself to someone, to expose yourself to something sooo new in the arms of someone who truly and deeply cares for you.


For a girl, possibilities of having sex as a teenager with your partner and then breaking-up with him can be emotionally very difficult to handle. Sadly for most of the boys its just another “adventure” and even you will agree, sometimes “an achievement to brag about“. Some people even “collect” virgins for their desire to be “first“. Also, many people look down upon non-virgins as sluts, which according to me is a very stupid thing to do. A non-virgin is not necessarily a sex-hungry pig, and someone who hasn’t had sex before is not necessarily a saint.


Coming back to the point of male hypocrisy….Most men will hang out with all the ‘hep’ girls as bachelors and sometimes even sleep with them, but when it comes to marriage, they would choose to go with a homely girl with a simple background preferably of their own community. I, inspite of being a boy, fail to understand that why most men overrate virginity when it comes to choosing one’s life-partner. For me, virginity of the girl I intend to marry is not as important as other factors. Of course, in such cases, the parameters change from person to person. But I wish to ask people, “what if your “pure” wife refuses to take care of your aging parents??“, “what if she doesn’t understand you properly and seldom helps you when you are feeling low??“, “what if she can’t take proper care of your children??“, “what if she CHEATS on you??“. Anything can happen.


Some people might say that there is nothing “NEW” you can offer in the marriage if you aren’t a virgin.They say marriage loses its ‘zing‘. I completely disagree with such an attitude. I feel that this kind of attitude indicates that marriage is just about sex. A married couple have to convert a house into a home, give birth to children, raise them, teach them good values, guide them and maintain a happy family, at least that’s the “perfect” prototype. We, men, should realize that if we expect something from our women, then even they have the right to do so.


By writing this post, neither am I supporting premarital sex nor am I asking people to fuck around before marriage and laugh about their sexual status. I am asking people to broaden their mindsets and think from a different point of view. We are no-more in medieval times and it is entirely upon an individual if he/she indulges into premarital sex. Growing youth power is out to experiment, for better or worse.Virginity is overrated. I think it is better to focus on real relationship issues. Instead, it acts as a distraction when you are young and is used as a bludgeon against the young when you are old. Bah.


If you aren’t a virgin while going into a marriage, have the balls to accept that your wife may also not be one. 


Written by Femi Shine with input from  from http://intuerious.wordpress.com/2011/11/19/is-virginity-overrated/

Thursday, 10 January 2013

Is Marriage For Everyone? An Eye Opener

Is marriage is for everyone? i think most of us have thought about this at one point or the other and we may have come to different conclusions but coming from a society (Nigeria) where marriage is seen as a status and perhaps even an elevation this argument wont even stand a chance.Once you're married the way you're received in your community, work, church and among your friends change, the respect and sense of responsibility is overwhelming, a single man who is ripe for marriage and isn't is sometimes perceived to be irresponsible or even classified as a player and the pressure from his family especially if his mother is alive will be very intense and it is even worse if it is a single lady because she has to answer questions from all corners of her life like hey why are are you still single? when are you bringing a man home? or when are we going to carry our grandchild? and yes maybe you're being disturbed by a spiritual husband ! 

One thing that I know for sure about “Is marriage for everyone?” is that marriage is not for everyone. Many people get married because you're simply in love with your partner, your parents or family members continuously ask you when you’ll get married, and or your past 30 or 40 and you feel its time to settle down and get married. I’ve been reading this article about marriage and it read other reasons why people get married: “Some marry for love, some marry for money and then there are some who marry purely for the companionship.”

But there are people out there in the world and being married just don’t fit their character. Everyone has a different character, and being married just doesn’t work for everyone. Like for someone who usually don’t have many responsibilities now settling down and having a lot of responsibilities is a drastic change and may not work out when in a marriage. Another reason can be some people having doubts during a marriage believing that they can’t spend the rest of their lives with the same person. Which is a reason why marriage doesn’t work for everyone.

All of this just make me think that marriage isn’t for everyone, but you can still be happy without being married.

Now being single provides us with or personal space and renders us with the ability to be our self, here is an input from a writer online please enjoy

A lot of my boys are married or have been married and I can tell you this from the deepest part of me and that is most of them tell me to not get married at all or hold off as long as possible. It’s funny how they have to sneak around sometimes to do normal things to have fun. Like for instance one of my boys we had to sneak out and get beer because his wife all of a sudden thought he shouldn’t drink beer anymore (the same beer he been drinking the four years they were dating). This isn’t also reserved for men but women as well. I have heard of women whose husband doesn’t want them to go out or wear certain clothes because she is now married (when it’s basically the same clothes she met him in).
These are just a few small incidence of foolishness that goes on within marriages. Many people will try to say that these are the worst of situations within marriage…but are they really that abnormal? There will be those who will say that things really don’t change and shouldn’t but they do. People have pre-conceived notions of what a husband or wife should be. Many times we separate the idea of being married from just being boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s funny the people who are always advocating marriage the most many time are people (mostly women) who have never been married themselves. The truth of the matter is that many of us are not conditioned are built for a marriage.
The Western Culture we live in has some of the most hypocritical ideologies it amazes me. On one hand we conditioned to yearn for a marriage and in the same notion we are the most individualistic culture in the world. We can’t be marriage material when we truly are all about self-servicing. Marriage is the only thing I can think of that everyone is so gung-ho to want to do when they have a high chance of failure. How do we not cautiously think about these choices with the staggering statistics? We are cautious about everything from safe-sex, drugs, and breast cancer awareness but where is the marriage cautiousness. We don’t do the necessary soul-searching, introspective thinking, and self-evaluation to truly conjure if one we are ready to get married and two if we are even marriage material?

Marriage Divorce statistics (in percent)
First Marriage 45% to 50% marriages end in divorce
Second Marriage 60% to 67% marriages end in divorce
Third Marriage 70% to 73% marriages end in divorce

Marriage is the joining of two people to become one vessel not two vessels. People many times nod and say oh yeah I can do that. I’m not selfish and self-servicing. The problem is many of us tolerate someone of truly loving them. Toleration is I’m going to put up with this or that for the sake of the relationship. The problem is toleration has a time limit while love doesn’t. Are you really ready to love someone instead of tolerate someone? This is truly a deep question that one has to really think about internally.
“Love is a beautiful thing that can build you up to the highest level but you must know how to harness that energy to get to the highest level”One of the strangest things in society is the hardcore pressure to get us all to get married. If we want to believe it or not we are pressured both directly and indirectly. For instance, think about how if a person says they are 35 years old and has never been married or had kids someone will look at them like they have leprosy.

Now a person says they have been married twice with 4 kids it’s looked at as okay. The culture of America embraces the idea of marriage so much that the failure of marriage is even celebrated more than never being married.  This society makes it so easy to get married but why is it so hard to get divorced then?
This post isn’t here to bash the institution of marriage. Marriage can be a beautiful thing if both people have a strong grasp of who they are and how they are supposed to coalesce (see Relationship Credit Score). Society has to get over the notion that you aren’t squat just because you haven’t been married or you and your mate haven’t gotten married. We have to look what makes us truly happy not what makes us acceptable within the social template. The institution of marriage has changed so much from the days of our grandparents that we need to adapt to the times. We can’t think that our marriage will work the same as Papa and Granny. We look to the positive marriages we see as examples(insert Will and Jada Pinkett Smith or any other “successful” celebrity marriage) but we also need to recognize the more abundance of horrible marriages.  We continually look to the exceptions and not much of the rules of the world. We can’t neglect to look at those failed marriages and just egotistically believe that “our marriage” is going to be so much different.  Ask yourself : Why will my marriage be any different? Marriage isn’t just love, its communication, finances, mediation, etc. Love just won’t just get you through everything like the books and movies portray.
Most of society doesn’t want a husband or wife but they want a projection of who they want them to be. We aren’t ready to be married because we aren’t ready for unconditional love but tolerable love. Don’t think about the societal factors of being married really think…Am I ready for marriage and do I really want to be even married? There is a lot of work that goes into getting that “Happily Ever After”.

Written By Femi Shine with inputs from http://ashy2classy.net/




Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Marrying Early....Is It Advisable? (Interesting Article,A Must Read!)


This happens to be a very sensitive topic especially if you're head over heels in love at the moment and you're considering walking down the aisle with your "special one" but is it an advisable move? Does it hold the long term goals we want to accomplish in life? A lot more questions need to be dissected and also does age play a role in in the kind of maturity need for this kind of life time decision;a man of 20 can behave and make decisions better than a man of 35 and above or do we hang on to the norm that the older we get the more experienced and mature we see things well anyways let's dig right into it and learn a thing or two.


Marriage means that your considerations about what you’d like to do right now and in the long term have to take into account another person, who may have very different ideas about what he or she would like to do. This can be limiting and mean you must compromise or give up doing some of the things you like when they don’t make practical sense for the couple. Though you are still an individual, part of you must always consider that your life is made up of a two-person team. While some couples that married too young have created successful teamwork, it’s clear many others failed miserably or had to sacrifice their needs for the sake of the team.Other people who married too young believe that they missed out on learning how to live on their own.

When people go from a parent’s home to a new home with a spouse, they miss this step. It’s also anybody’s guess how a person will change and grow once they’re out of their teens. 18 year olds may have some character bents, but the thought that they are fully formed and have all their ideas in place is pretty silly, given the vast changes that occur as people mature in their 20s. How a person is now can change dramatically in the course of a few years, and these changes don’t always contribute to healthy marriages. There are certainly some couples who married too young and make it work, but it might be a good idea to talk to them about what they gave up. There are just as many couples that were unsuccessful in early marriages and they may also have insight that a person marrying young has not yet acquired. Though there currently seems a push toward younger marriages, the high risk of divorce, the potential pitfalls of these early marriages, and the possibility that you will have to give up many of your personal goals, make this a matter for very significant
consideration and thought

At a young age, you can't really know what is a good relationship and what's not, because you haven't experienced enough.  People leaving bad relationships always seem to have that, "What was I thinking?" feeling, because when they were in the relationship, they were unable to see that it was bad.  The ability to recognize red flags can only come with experience.

Another problem is that you will constantly wonder if you made the right decision, without having the experience to answer that question.  This may seem like a minor point, but having that nagging concern that you can't confidently get rid of can really undermine your feelings about the relationship over time.

Most people also quite naturally want to spend some time looking around, being single, and just enjoying themselves.  You may not be feeling that way now, but spending some time in your young adulthood being single is a valuable experience, and one that people who marry young not only miss out on, but often regret missing out on.  It's worth noting that single people are generally more free to explore their own interests and pursue possible career options and travel opportunities.People who don't have a lot of relationship experience aren't particularly good at maintaining relationships.  It's a cliche to say that communication is important, but it is hugely important, and not as easy as it sounds.  Without experiencing a relationship breaking down because one partner was too shy or otherwise unable or unwilling to express problems they are having with a relationship, or because one partner, when confronted by their partner with a genuine relationship problem, got angry or defensive, shutting down communication, or for any other communication-related reason, people can underestimate just how hard communication is, how much work it takes, and what it means to truly communicate, in the sense meant by us cliche-spewers.  Young people thinking of getting married should ask themselves: is there anything bothering me about the relationship that will bother me more if the problem continues?  Have I talked to my partner about it?  Has s/he responded with an honest attempt to solve the problem, or at least expressed a willingness to discuss and come to a compromise?

This is all meant to be helpful, and not discouraging, of course.  If you are certain that none of these problems apply (e.g. both partners are remarkably experienced for 21 year-olds, have had their share of exploration of relationships with others and of their own interests, and are first-rate communicators, able to recognize and gently but clearly express problems that need to be addressed and respond constructively when presented by the other partner with such a problem), there's nothing wrong with getting married, and it can be a wonderful experience, symbolic of your commitment to each other, that brings you even closer together.  Young people should think very hard, and very realistically, about their relationship before diving into a marriage, though.

Written by Femi Shine with input from http://completewellbeing.com/article/early-marriage-look-before-you-leap/

wonderful topics at www.femishine.blogspot.com

Friday, 4 January 2013

A Complete List of Known Phobias...


A Complete List of Known Phobias


A-

Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
Acarophobia- Fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.
Acerophobia- Fear of sourness.
Achluophobia- Fear of darkness.
Acousticophobia- Fear of noise.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights.
Aerophobia- Fear of drafts, air swallowing, or airbourne noxious substances.
Aeroacrophobia- Fear of open high places.
Aeronausiphobia- Fear of vomiting secondary to airsickness.
Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.
Agraphobia- Fear of sexual abuse.
Agrizoophobia- Fear of wild animals.
Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Albuminurophobia- Fear of kidney disease.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Algophobia- Fear of pain.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Altophobia- Fear of heights.
Amathophobia- Fear of dust.
Amaxophobia- Fear of riding in a car.
Ambulophobia- Fear of walking.
Amnesiphobia- Fear of amnesia.
Amychophobia- Fear of scratches or being scratched.
Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.
Ancraophobia- Fear of wind. (Anemophobia)
Androphobia- Fear of men.
Anemophobia- Fear of air drafts or wind.(Ancraophobia)
Anginophobia- Fear of angina, choking or narrowness.
Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc.
Angrophobia - Fear of anger or of becoming angry.
Ankylophobia- Fear of immobility of a joint.
Anthrophobia or Anthophobia- Fear of flowers.
Anthropophobia- Fear of people or society.
Antlophobia- Fear of floods.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Apeirophobia- Fear of infinity.
Aphenphosmphobia- Fear of being touched. (Haphephobia)
Apiphobia- Fear of bees.
Apotemnophobia- Fear of persons with amputations.
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers.
Arrhenphobia- Fear of men.
Arsonphobia- Fear of fire.
Asthenophobia- Fear of fainting or weakness.
Astraphobia or Astrapophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.(Ceraunophobia, Keraunophobia)
Astrophobia- Fear of stars or celestial space.
Asymmetriphobia- Fear of asymmetrical things.
Ataxiophobia- Fear of ataxia. (muscular incoordination)
Ataxophobia- Fear of disorder or untidiness.
Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection.
Atephobia- Fear of ruin or ruins.
Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.
Atomosophobia- Fear of atomic explosions.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Aulophobia- Fear of flutes.
Aurophobia- Fear of gold.
Auroraphobia- Fear of Northern lights.
Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor.
Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsly represents a sentient being.
Automysophobia- Fear of being dirty.
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.
Aviophobia or Aviatophobia- Fear of flying.

B-

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Bacillophobia- Fear of microbes.
Bacteriophobia- Fear of bacteria.
Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets.
Bolshephobia- Fear of Bolsheviks.
Barophobia- Fear of gravity.
Basophobia or Basiphobia- Inability to stand. Fear of walking or falling.
Bathmophobia- Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
Bathophobia- Fear of depth.
Batophobia- Fear of heights or being close to high buildings.
Batrachophobia- Fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders, etc.
Belonephobia- Fear of pins and needles. (Aichmophobia)
Bibliophobia- Fear of books.
Blennophobia- Fear of slime.
Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman.
Botanophobia- Fear of plants.
Bromidrosiphobia or Bromidrophobia- Fear of body smells.
Brontophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.
Bufonophobia- Fear of toads.

C-



Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
Cainophobia or Cainotophobia- Fear of newness, novelty.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Cancerophobia or Carcinophobia- Fear of cancer.
Cardiophobia- Fear of the heart.
Carnophobia- Fear of meat.
Catagelophobia- Fear of being ridiculed.
Catapedaphobia- Fear of jumping from high and low places.
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.
Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors.
Cenophobia or Centophobia- Fear of new things or ideas.
Ceraunophobia or Keraunophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.(Astraphobia, Astrapophobia)
Chaetophobia- Fear of hair.
Cheimaphobia or Cheimatophobia- Fear of cold.(Frigophobia, Psychophobia)
Chemophobia- Fear of chemicals or working with chemicals.
Cherophobia- Fear of gaiety.
Chionophobia- Fear of snow.
Chiraptophobia- Fear of being touched.
Chirophobia- Fear of hands.
Chiroptophobia- Fear of bats.
Cholerophobia- Fear of anger or the fear of cholera.
Chorophobia- Fear of dancing.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors.
Chronophobia- Fear of time.
Chronomentrophobia- Fear of clocks.
Cibophobia- Fear of food.(Sitophobia, Sitiophobia)
Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces.
Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia- Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
Cleptophobia- Fear of stealing.
Climacophobia- Fear of stairs, climbing, or of falling downstairs.
Clinophobia- Fear of going to bed.
Clithrophobia or Cleithrophobia- Fear of being enclosed.
Cnidophobia- Fear of stings.
Cometophobia- Fear of comets.
Coimetrophobia- Fear of cemeteries.
Coitophobia- Fear of coitus.
Contreltophobia- Fear of sexual abuse.
Coprastasophobia- Fear of constipation.
Coprophobia- Fear of feces.
Consecotaleophobia- Fear of chopsticks.
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
Counterphobia- The preference by a phobic for fearful situations.
Cremnophobia- Fear of precipices.
Cryophobia- Fear of extreme cold, ice or frost.
Crystallophobia- Fear of crystals or glass.
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer.
Cyclophobia- Fear of bicycles.
Cymophobia or Kymophobia- Fear of waves or wave like motions.
Cynophobia- Fear of dogs or rabies.
Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.

D-

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Decidophobia- Fear of making decisions.
Defecaloesiophobia- Fear of painful bowels movements.
Deipnophobia- Fear of dining or dinner conversations.
Dementophobia- Fear of insanity.
Demonophobia or Daemonophobia- Fear of demons.
Demophobia- Fear of crowds. (Agoraphobia)
Dendrophobia- Fear of trees.
Dentophobia- Fear of dentists.
Dermatophobia- Fear of skin lesions.
Dermatosiophobia or Dermatophobia or Dermatopathophobia- Fear of skin disease.
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
Diabetophobia- Fear of diabetes.
Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school.
Dikephobia- Fear of justice.
Dinophobia- Fear of dizziness or whirlpools.
Diplophobia- Fear of double vision.
Dipsophobia- Fear of drinking.
Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Disposophobia- Fear of throwing stuff out. Hoarding.
Domatophobia- Fear of houses or being in a house.(Eicophobia, Oikophobia)
Doraphobia- Fear of fur or skins of animals.
Doxophobia- Fear of expressing opinions or of receiving praise.
Dromophobia- Fear of crossing streets.
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.
Dysmorphophobia- Fear of deformity.
Dystychiphobia- Fear of accidents.

E-


Ecclesiophobia- Fear of church.
Ecophobia- Fear of home.
Eicophobia- Fear of home surroundings.(Domatophobia, Oikophobia)
Eisoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror.
Electrophobia- Fear of electricity.
Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom.
Elurophobia- Fear of cats. (Ailurophobia)
Emetophobia- Fear of vomiting.
Enetophobia- Fear of pins.
Enochlophobia- Fear of crowds.
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia- Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin or of criticism.
Entomophobia- Fear of insects.
Eosophobia- Fear of dawn or daylight.
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Epistaxiophobia- Fear of nosebleeds.
Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Equinophobia- Fear of horses.
Eremophobia- Fear of being oneself or of lonliness.
Ereuthrophobia- Fear of blushing.
Ergasiophobia- 1) Fear of work or functioning. 2) Surgeon's fear of operating.
Ergophobia- Fear of work.
Erotophobia- Fear of sexual love or sexual questions.
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news.
Eurotophobia- Fear of female genitalia.
Erythrophobia or Erytophobia or Ereuthophobia- 1) Fear of redlights. 2) Blushing. 3) Red.

F-


Febriphobia or Fibriphobia or Fibriophobia- Fear of fever.
Felinophobia- Fear of cats. (Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Galeophobia, Gatophobia)
Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture. (Gallophobia, Galiophobia)
Frigophobia- Fear of cold or cold things.(Cheimaphobia, Cheimatophobia, Psychrophobia)

G-

Galeophobia or Gatophobia- Fear of cats.
Gallophobia or Galiophobia- Fear France or French culture. (Francophobia)
Gamophobia- Fear of marriage.
Geliophobia- Fear of laughter.
Gelotophobia- Fear of being laughed at.
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
Genophobia- Fear of sex.
Genuphobia- Fear of knees.
Gephyrophobia or Gephydrophobia or Gephysrophobia- Fear of crossing bridges.
Germanophobia- Fear of Germany or German culture.
Gerascophobia- Fear of growing old.
Gerontophobia- Fear of old people or of growing old.
Geumaphobia or Geumophobia- Fear of taste.
Glossophobia- Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
Gnosiophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Graphophobia- Fear of writing or handwriting.
Gymnophobia- Fear of nudity.
Gynephobia or Gynophobia- Fear of women.

H-

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Hadephobia- Fear of hell.
Hagiophobia- Fear of saints or holy things.
Hamartophobia- Fear of sinning.
Haphephobia or Haptephobia- Fear of being touched.
Harpaxophobia- Fear of being robbed.
Hedonophobia- Fear of feeling pleasure.
Heliophobia- Fear of the sun.
Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.
Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms.
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood.
Heresyphobia or Hereiophobia- Fear of challenges to official doctrine or of radical deviation.
Herpetophobia- Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things.
Heterophobia- Fear of the opposite sex. (Sexophobia)
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666.
Hierophobia- Fear of priests or sacred things.
Hippophobia- Fear of horses.
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
Hobophobia- Fear of bums or beggars.
Hodophobia- Fear of road travel.
Hormephobia- Fear of shock.
Homichlophobia- Fear of fog.
Homilophobia- Fear of sermons.
Hominophobia- Fear of men.
Homophobia- Fear of sameness, monotony or of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.
Hoplophobia- Fear of firearms.
Hydrargyophobia- Fear of mercurial medicines.
Hydrophobia- Fear of water or of rabies.
Hydrophobophobia- Fear of rabies.
Hyelophobia or Hyalophobia- Fear of glass.
Hygrophobia- Fear of liquids, dampness, or moisture.
Hylephobia- Fear of materialism or the fear of epilepsy.
Hylophobia- Fear of forests.
Hypengyophobia or Hypegiaphobia- Fear of responsibility.
Hypnophobia- Fear of sleep or of being hypnotized.
Hypsiphobia- Fear of height.

I-

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Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors.
Ichthyophobia- Fear of fish.
Ideophobia- Fear of ideas.
Illyngophobia- Fear of vertigo or feeling dizzy when looking down.
Iophobia- Fear of poison.
Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
Isolophobia- Fear of solitude, being alone.
Isopterophobia- Fear of termites, insects that eat wood.
Ithyphallophobia- Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.

J-

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Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese.
Judeophobia- Fear of Jews.

K-

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Kainolophobia or Kainophobia- Fear of anything new, novelty.
Kakorrhaphiophobia- Fear of failure or defeat.
Katagelophobia- Fear of ridicule.
Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down.
Katsaridaphobia- Fear of cockroaches.
Kenophobia- Fear of voids or empty spaces.
Keraunophobia or Ceraunophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.(Astraphobia, Astrapophobia)
Kinetophobia or Kinesophobia- Fear of movement or motion.
Kleptophobia- Fear of stealing.
Koinoniphobia- Fear of rooms.
Kolpophobia- Fear of genitals, particularly female.
Kopophobia- Fear of fatigue.
Koniophobia- Fear of dust. (Amathophobia)
Kosmikophobia- Fear of cosmic phenomenon.
Kymophobia- Fear of waves. (Cymophobia)
Kynophobia- Fear of rabies.
Kyphophobia- Fear of stooping.

L-

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Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables.
Laliophobia or Lalophobia- Fear of speaking.
Leprophobia or Lepraphobia- Fear of leprosy.
Leukophobia- Fear of the color white.
Levophobia- Fear of things to the left side of the body.
Ligyrophobia- Fear of loud noises.
Lilapsophobia- Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
Limnophobia- Fear of lakes.
Linonophobia- Fear of string.
Liticaphobia- Fear of lawsuits.
Lockiophobia- Fear of childbirth.
Logizomechanophobia- Fear of computers.
Logophobia- Fear of words.
Luiphobia- Fear of lues, syphillis.
Lutraphobia- Fear of otters.
Lygophobia- Fear of darkness.
Lyssophobia- Fear of rabies or of becoming mad.

M-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top
Macrophobia- Fear of long waits.
Mageirocophobia- Fear of cooking.
Maieusiophobia- Fear of childbirth.
Malaxophobia- Fear of love play. (Sarmassophobia)
Maniaphobia- Fear of insanity.
Mastigophobia- Fear of punishment.
Mechanophobia- Fear of machines.
Medomalacuphobia- Fear of losing an erection.
Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis.
Megalophobia- Fear of large things.
Melissophobia- Fear of bees.
Melanophobia- Fear of the color black.
Melophobia- Fear or hatred of music.
Meningitophobia- Fear of brain disease.
Menophobia- Fear of menstruation.
Merinthophobia- Fear of being bound or tied up.
Metallophobia- Fear of metal.
Metathesiophobia- Fear of changes.
Meteorophobia- Fear of meteors.
Methyphobia- Fear of alcohol.
Metrophobia- Fear or hatred of poetry.
Microbiophobia- Fear of microbes. (Bacillophobia)
Microphobia- Fear of small things.
Misophobia or Mysophobia- Fear of being contaminated with dirt or germs.
Mnemophobia- Fear of memories.
Molysmophobia or Molysomophobia- Fear of dirt or contamination.
Monophobia- Fear of solitude or being alone.
Monopathophobia- Fear of definite disease.
Motorphobia- Fear of automobiles.
Mottephobia- Fear of moths.
Musophobia or Muriphobia- Fear of mice.
Mycophobia- Fear or aversion to mushrooms.
Mycrophobia- Fear of small things.
Myctophobia- Fear of darkness.
Myrmecophobia- Fear of ants.
Mythophobia- Fear of myths or stories or false statements.
Myxophobia- Fear of slime. (Blennophobia)

N-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top
Nebulaphobia- Fear of fog. (Homichlophobia)
Necrophobia- Fear of death or dead things.
Nelophobia- Fear of glass.
Neopharmaphobia- Fear of new drugs.
Neophobia- Fear of anything new.
Nephophobia- Fear of clouds.
Noctiphobia- Fear of the night.
Nomatophobia- Fear of names.
Nosocomephobia- Fear of hospitals.
Nosophobia or Nosemaphobia- Fear of becoming ill.
Nostophobia- Fear of returning home.
Novercaphobia- Fear of your step-mother.
Nucleomituphobia- Fear of nuclear weapons.
Nudophobia- Fear of nudity.
Numerophobia- Fear of numbers.
Nyctohylophobia- Fear of dark wooded areas or of forests at night
Nyctophobia- Fear of the dark or of night.

O-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top
Obesophobia- Fear of gaining weight.(Pocrescophobia)
Ochlophobia- Fear of crowds or mobs.
Ochophobia- Fear of vehicles.
Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
Odontophobia- Fear of teeth or dental surgery.
Odynophobia or Odynephobia- Fear of pain. (Algophobia)
Oenophobia- Fear of wines.
Oikophobia- Fear of home surroundings, house.(Domatophobia, Eicophobia)
Olfactophobia- Fear of smells.
Ombrophobia- Fear of rain or of being rained on.
Ommetaphobia or Ommatophobia- Fear of eyes.
Omphalophobia- Fear of belly buttons.
Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams.
Oneirogmophobia- Fear of wet dreams.
Onomatophobia- Fear of hearing a certain word or of names.
Ophidiophobia- Fear of snakes. (Snakephobia)
Ophthalmophobia- Fear of being stared at.
Opiophobia- Fear medical doctors experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients.
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes.
Ornithophobia- Fear of birds.
Orthophobia- Fear of property.
Osmophobia or Osphresiophobia- Fear of smells or odors.
Ostraconophobia- Fear of shellfish.
Ouranophobia or Uranophobia- Fear of heaven.

P-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top
Pagophobia- Fear of ice or frost.
Panthophobia- Fear of suffering and disease.
Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything.
Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
Papyrophobia- Fear of paper.
Paralipophobia- Fear of neglecting duty or responsibility.
Paraphobia- Fear of sexual perversion.
Parasitophobia- Fear of parasites.
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th.
Parthenophobia- Fear of virgins or young girls.
Pathophobia- Fear of disease.
Patroiophobia- Fear of heredity.
Parturiphobia- Fear of childbirth.
Peccatophobia- Fear of sinning or imaginary crimes.
Pediculophobia- Fear of lice.
Pediophobia- Fear of dolls.
Pedophobia- Fear of children.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
Pellagrophobia- Fear of pellagra.
Peniaphobia- Fear of poverty.
Pentheraphobia- Fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia)
Phagophobia- Fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten.
Phalacrophobia- Fear of becoming bald.
Phallophobia- Fear of a penis, esp erect.
Pharmacophobia- Fear of taking medicine.
Phasmophobia- Fear of ghosts.
Phengophobia- Fear of daylight or sunshine.
Philemaphobia or Philematophobia- Fear of kissing.
Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love.
Philosophobia- Fear of philosophy.
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
Photoaugliaphobia- Fear of glaring lights.
Photophobia- Fear of light.
Phonophobia- Fear of noises or voices or one's own voice; of telephones.
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
Phthiriophobia- Fear of lice. (Pediculophobia)
Phthisiophobia- Fear of tuberculosis.
Placophobia- Fear of tombstones.
Plutophobia- Fear of wealth.
Pluviophobia- Fear of rain or of being rained on.
Pneumatiphobia- Fear of spirits.
Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia- Fear of choking of being smothered.
Pocrescophobia- Fear of gaining weight. (Obesophobia)
Pogonophobia- Fear of beards.
Poliosophobia- Fear of contracting poliomyelitis.
Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.
Polyphobia- Fear of many things.
Poinephobia- Fear of punishment.
Ponophobia- Fear of overworking or of pain.
Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple.
Potamophobia- Fear of rivers or running water.
Potophobia- Fear of alcohol.
Pharmacophobia- Fear of drugs.
Proctophobia- Fear of rectums.
Prosophobia- Fear of progress.
Psellismophobia- Fear of stuttering.
Psychophobia- Fear of mind.
Psychrophobia- Fear of cold.
Pteromerhanophobia- Fear of flying.
Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers.
Pupaphobia - Fear of puppets.
Pyrexiophobia- Fear of Fever.
Pyrophobia- Fear of fire.

Q-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top

R-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top
Radiophobia- Fear of radiation, x-rays.
Ranidaphobia- Fear of frogs.
Rectophobia- Fear of rectum or rectal diseases.
Rhabdophobia- Fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.(wand)
Rhypophobia- Fear of defecation.
Rhytiphobia- Fear of getting wrinkles.
Rupophobia- Fear of dirt.
Russophobia- Fear of Russians.

S-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top
Samhainophobia: Fear of Halloween.
Sarmassophobia- Fear of love play. (Malaxophobia)
Satanophobia- Fear of Satan.
Scabiophobia- Fear of scabies.
Scatophobia- Fear of fecal matter.
Scelerophibia- Fear of bad men, burglars.
Sciophobia Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
Scoleciphobia- Fear of worms.
Scolionophobia- Fear of school.
Scopophobia or Scoptophobia- Fear of being seen or stared at.
Scotomaphobia- Fear of blindness in visual field.
Scotophobia- Fear of darkness. (Achluophobia)
Scriptophobia- Fear of writing in public.
Selachophobia- Fear of sharks.
Selaphobia- Fear of light flashes.
Selenophobia- Fear of the moon.
Seplophobia- Fear of decaying matter.
Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words.
Sexophobia- Fear of the opposite sex. (Heterophobia)
Siderodromophobia- Fear of trains, railroads or train travel.
Siderophobia- Fear of stars.
Sinistrophobia- Fear of things to the left or left-handed.
Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture.
Sitophobia or Sitiophobia- Fear of food or eating. (Cibophobia)
Snakephobia- Fear of snakes. (Ophidiophobia)
Soceraphobia- Fear of parents-in-law.
Social Phobia- Fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations.
Sociophobia- Fear of society or people in general.
Somniphobia- Fear of sleep.
Sophophobia- Fear of learning.
Soteriophobia - Fear of dependence on others.
Spacephobia- Fear of outer space.
Spectrophobia- Fear of specters or ghosts.
Spermatophobia or Spermophobia- Fear of germs.
Spheksophobia- Fear of wasps.
Stasibasiphobia or Stasiphobia- Fear of standing or walking. (Ambulophobia)
Staurophobia- Fear of crosses or the crucifix.
Stenophobia- Fear of narrow things or places.
Stygiophobia or Stigiophobia- Fear of hell.
Suriphobia- Fear of mice.
Symbolophobia- Fear of symbolism.
Symmetrophobia- Fear of symmetry.
Syngenesophobia- Fear of relatives.
Syphilophobia- Fear of syphilis.

T-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top
Tachophobia- Fear of speed.
Taeniophobia or Teniophobia- Fear of tapeworms.
Taphephobia Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
Tapinophobia- Fear of being contagious.
Taurophobia- Fear of bulls.
Technophobia- Fear of technology.
Teleophobia- 1) Fear of definite plans. 2) Religious ceremony.
Telephonophobia- Fear of telephones.
Teratophobia- Fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people.
Testophobia- Fear of taking tests.
Tetanophobia- Fear of lockjaw, tetanus.
Teutophobia- Fear of German or German things.
Textophobia- Fear of certain fabrics.
Thaasophobia- Fear of sitting.
Thalassophobia- Fear of the sea.
Thanatophobia or Thantophobia- Fear of death or dying.
Theatrophobia- Fear of theatres.
Theologicophobia- Fear of theology.
Theophobia- Fear of gods or religion.
Thermophobia- Fear of heat.
Tocophobia- Fear of pregnancy or childbirth.
Tomophobia- Fear of surgical operations.
Tonitrophobia- Fear of thunder.
Topophobia- Fear of certain places or situations, such as stage fright.
Toxiphobia or Toxophobia or Toxicophobia- Fear of poison or of being accidently poisoned.
Traumatophobia- Fear of injury.
Tremophobia- Fear of trembling.
Trichinophobia- Fear of trichinosis.
Trichopathophobia or Trichophobia- Fear of hair. (Chaetophobia, Hypertrichophobia)
Triskaidekaphobia- Fear of the number 13.
Tropophobia- Fear of moving or making changes.
Trypanophobia- Fear of injections.
Tuberculophobia- Fear of tuberculosis.
Tyrannophobia- Fear of tyrants.

U-



Uranophobia or Ouranophobia- Fear of heaven.
Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating.

V-


Vaccinophobia- Fear of vaccination.
Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Verbophobia- Fear of words.
Verminophobia- Fear of germs.
Vestiphobia- Fear of clothing.
Virginitiphobia- Fear of rape.
Vitricophobia- Fear of step-father.

W-

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | Top
Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons.
Wiccaphobia: Fear of witches and witchcraft.

X-


Xanthophobia- Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow.
Xenoglossophobia- Fear of foreign languages.
Xenophobia- Fear of strangers or foreigners.
Xerophobia- Fear of dryness.
Xylophobia- 1) Fear of wooden objects. 2) Forests.
Xyrophobia-Fear of razors.

Y-

Z-


Zelophobia- Fear of jealousy.
Zeusophobia- Fear of God or gods.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.
Zoophobia- Fear of animals.