Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Why Married Men Visit Prostitutes

Hello readers,

I am sorry i have been offline for a short while due to writers block and also some personal constraints but i am back , i had the opportunity to access some files on my old laptop and i found this interesting piece i had in my documents over the years.Why Married Men Visit Prostitutes....This is a funny and thought provoking reasoning which i enjoy reading over and over again so please join me in this train of thought and lets see if we can learn a thing or two enjoy !!

follow me on twitter @FemiShine

Sunday, 17 March 2013

In The President's Mind ( Part I of 5) A thrilling trip into the mind of our President

I'm tapping my pen on the paper..I've got a blind mind..I am the President Of a country called Nigeria..yes the President elect of the most populous black nation in the world. How do I rule a country like this? With so many differences in religion,tribe,language,natural resources, culture,education and way of thinking. I am not clueless but neither am I swimming in a pool of wisdom but I think leading this herd of sheep is the most difficult thing on earth,the direction has been lost a long time ago and anything I do to change the life of Nigerians is criticized and ridiculed from every angle,oh I've been insulted by even little children because their elders do not respect me so why should they? They go on social media created by the western world and insult me till I and my wife become a trending hash tag on twitter
Let me remind them that their parents also contributed to the failure of this country and since you're a product of your parents then you've also contributed to the failure of this country because the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.
If you know what my wife goes through you will wonder how she's till staying sane,they even insulted her while she was sick and in a critical condition,but I'm not upset with them because they do not know what I know. They only know what the news tell them. Given the opportunity they will always appreciate foreign leaders and want us Africans to think like them but I say no. Insulting your President and appreciating western presidents is a cheap shot, aren't these same western countries fighting war in another man's land for oil and authority? 
Colonialism came too early and Nigerians grew greedy for the oil and all that comes with it and till now it hasn't gotten us ahead as it should have due to bad governance,I'm only trying to trim the leaves of this great tree because the roots of the problem of Nigeria and Nigerians are feets deep in the ground.
I am your President and No We Can't do this alone,but Yes We Can Do It together, let's join hands in a vacuum and then fill the vacuum with ideas to move the country forward.

Watch out for the concluding parts of this train of thoughts.
Written By Femi Shine ( In The President's Mind Part I of 5)

Monday, 11 March 2013

The Little Coins In My Pocket....

Where is the inspiration these days? Who do I cast my frustrations on? Every where I turn I see different devices set to drain the little coins in my pocket one way or another,this is no joke! From the moment you wake up from sleep, the bills wake with you,it's either you meet a text message from your family members reminding you about the money they asked for,or your wife is massaging your stomach in the hopes of getting the cheque for the aso ebi she plans to buy and a missed call on your phone suggests your side girlfriend wants to know when you're getting the blackberry z10!
You step out of your door and your gate man smiles and says Oga end of the month don reach with a look that tells you that he won't hesitate to beat the living day light out of you if you mess with his salary, as you turn the ignition you see the low fuel gauge and you act like you don't see it...yeah it happens
As you navigate through the streets of Lagos looking for the elusive daily bread you are being hounded by LASTMA,FRSC,VIO and the ever ready Nigerian Police ! So tell me who do I cast my frustrations on! Even alcohol is beginning to taste like piss!! And sex with your woman is begining to feel like a bargaining tool for her to get you to sign that cheque..oh well weak erections should solve that! Oh yes I tell you,if you're broke you're going to have all sorts of sexual problems from weak erections to no erections at all, how can you be excited when you know you can't give your girl friend transport fare to get her back home after screwing your lights out!
How can I pay tax when there is no income,thank God that our tax laws are not very strict like the americans
Jesus Christ!! Yes he's the solution but these days the man in a very fine suit and shoe with a Tag Heuer watch preaching from an Ipad2 can't convince me to drop my money in the offering box lai lai ! Tell me how to solve my problems,don't join those who want the coins in my pocket otherwise you can as well get a uniform so I'll be on the look out for you !
How can a herbalist convince me to go for money rituals when he himself sits in a shit hole and is broker than me..if he has the power he can as well be ridding the latest formatic benz instead of convincing me to buy chicken and goats from the little coins in my pocket yet some gullible folks believe in this crap! The only miracle I'll believe in is turning a bag of leaves to a bag of cash and ill join your religion kia kia!

So until then can everybody that is sane leave me alone with the little coins in my pocket!

follow me on twitter @FemiShine