Monday, 11 March 2013

The Little Coins In My Pocket....


Where is the inspiration these days? Who do I cast my frustrations on? Every where I turn I see different devices set to drain the little coins in my pocket one way or another,this is no joke! From the moment you wake up from sleep, the bills wake with you,it's either you meet a text message from your family members reminding you about the money they asked for,or your wife is massaging your stomach in the hopes of getting the cheque for the aso ebi she plans to buy and a missed call on your phone suggests your side girlfriend wants to know when you're getting the blackberry z10!
You step out of your door and your gate man smiles and says Oga end of the month don reach with a look that tells you that he won't hesitate to beat the living day light out of you if you mess with his salary, as you turn the ignition you see the low fuel gauge and you act like you don't see it...yeah it happens
As you navigate through the streets of Lagos looking for the elusive daily bread you are being hounded by LASTMA,FRSC,VIO and the ever ready Nigerian Police ! So tell me who do I cast my frustrations on! Even alcohol is beginning to taste like piss!! And sex with your woman is begining to feel like a bargaining tool for her to get you to sign that cheque..oh well weak erections should solve that! Oh yes I tell you,if you're broke you're going to have all sorts of sexual problems from weak erections to no erections at all, how can you be excited when you know you can't give your girl friend transport fare to get her back home after screwing your lights out!
How can I pay tax when there is no income,thank God that our tax laws are not very strict like the americans
Jesus Christ!! Yes he's the solution but these days the man in a very fine suit and shoe with a Tag Heuer watch preaching from an Ipad2 can't convince me to drop my money in the offering box lai lai ! Tell me how to solve my problems,don't join those who want the coins in my pocket otherwise you can as well get a uniform so I'll be on the look out for you !
How can a herbalist convince me to go for money rituals when he himself sits in a shit hole and is broker than me..if he has the power he can as well be ridding the latest formatic benz instead of convincing me to buy chicken and goats from the little coins in my pocket yet some gullible folks believe in this crap! The only miracle I'll believe in is turning a bag of leaves to a bag of cash and ill join your religion kia kia!

So until then can everybody that is sane leave me alone with the little coins in my pocket!


follow me on twitter @FemiShine

1 comment:

  1. Wow this is hilarious!!! But its the fact tho, love it.

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