I mean you have seen the way men drive in Nigeria: fast and furious, in a hurry to get nowhere! Might it be that the way a man drives is a reflection of his bedtime activity? And, of course, I also wanted to ask: Is the lack of good sex driving women to fat in Nigeria?
You must have seen the scene before, where, after copulating, the man looked like the cat that got the cream, while the woman looked despondent and was busy searching under the pillow, the bed and in the wardrobe: for her orgasm!
Anyway, added to the above is the rising incidence of rape, marital strives and divorce due to adultery, which further underlines the problem. Every day, you hear of some woman killed by an irate husband because of this issue.
For God’s sake, what is the fun in forcing a woman to have sex, or by rape? Why would you date rape or even rape your wife? The real joy is making a woman want you — just you — again and again.
It seems that one of the biggest problems men face is knowing how to make love to a woman! Unfortunately, what commonly happens is that young men get their sexual advice from friends or from pornographic films and books. As a result, they have a distorted view of what it is actually about.
We need to re-educate men about what it means to love a woman. Sadly, of course, I am not an expert on sex matters and these articles are to inform, educate and, maybe, even to just brighten up your day.
Here, for your reading pleasure, is the synthesis of ‘How to make love to a woman’ from women’s point of view. This is what women want.
Love-making, not sex
The first thing men need to know is that women prefer to call it “making love.” ‘Sex’ sounds like a question and is very clinical. Sex? Oh yes, I am female! Thank you very much. So, this article is not an exposé on sex. If you want sex, then please see the girls on Gimbiya Street in Abuja. Or sort yourself out!
However, if you really want to know how to make love; if you want the woman to say, ‘Thank you’ afterwards or to come over the next time, seemingly having forgotten her knickers at home, then you should follow a proven system that is guaranteed to give pleasure to a woman.
Communicating your interest and intentions is very important. Ensuring that the woman of your dream knows that you care about her, and want her, is important. However, talk is also cheap, unless followed by good intentions and action. Communication can also be subtle and non verbal.
A lot of Nigerian men do not engage in making eye contact, holding hands, smiling, winking, stroking, cuddling, kissing, laughing, embracing, etc.
Never forget that making love is a whole body and mind experience. Cuddling, hugging and just being close together reassure women and promise safety. Women say that a good number of men are selfish partners who tend to initiate sex when it suits them and have little or no thought about their partners. Some women go through with it perfunctorily, as a duty.
Focus, timing, location
Planning, timing, focus and the right location are important. A woman will more than likely agree to have you if privacy is assured. Choose the location carefully, communicate the idea early and allow her to simmer — just for you. For most women, sex is in the mind: A woman needs to make love to you in her mind first.
This is important and goes without saying. An annoying trend noticed among Nigerian men is the fact that they won’t buy their own protection (condoms). Why would you put your woman to risk? Part of the protection also includes your personal hygiene. Hygiene is important to women. Hygiene includes a bath, clean noses, ears, trim nails and clean shave (including the armpits).
Also, please wash your hands before touching a woman’s privates to avoid transmitting infection from car doors and household things.
Pleasure and fun
Take your time and really enjoy every individual sensation. That is how women do it. You need to learn how to listen to a woman’s body. It will tell you what she wants, just like yours tells her. Take it slow, so slow it hurts. It is rare that a slow pace will bore a woman.
Ensure mutual fun
The goal of sex is not just your orgasm but ecstasy for both partners. Love-making is not a movie set where everyone concentrates on his/her script. You do need to listen to her body — that is the most important thing.
While it is nice to occasionally focus on her exquisite spot, keep moving, doing things with your tongue and hands all over her. However, do not feel the need to work towards an orgasm, and do not lose your confidence if she doesn’t come every time.
Some women like to talk after sex and some don’t, so follow her cues. Talk to your woman, express your pleasure, praise her prowess, subtly point out any shortcomings and teach what she may seem to lack — so that she keeps getting better for you.
This is also the best time for cuddling. Most men hate this part, but many women only have sex at all to get to this part.
Okay. That’s it. Do feel free to read and share widely. Also, please communicate by sending in your thoughts, opinions and replies through the website. I cannot wait for your thoughts on this interesting topic.
Written by BY DR. BIODUN OGUNGBO for punch newspapers
Follow me on Twitter @FemiShine